Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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