The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
