let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
