Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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