so let's talk penis.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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