their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
