i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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