My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Also, beer. Big fan.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
