dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
