i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize