how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
