you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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