please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
