Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
