Buhtt sex?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
