Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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