I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
