hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
