she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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