in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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