His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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