i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize