he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
