So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
