...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just found puke in my bra..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize