dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
