i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
