if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
