She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
