We're like a lot better than the average bears
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize