it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
