Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
