so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
