he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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