Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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