My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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