Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
