i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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