Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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