Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
