I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
