Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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