Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize