dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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