And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
50% drunk capacity currently
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
