Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
