Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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