Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
