Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
