And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
