honey bunches of taint.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
