Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
