I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize