YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
