Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
