But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
