yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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