dude i'm inner monologue high
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
