I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize