Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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