Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I hate your face
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Is it because I queefed?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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