this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
