Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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