i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
