Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize