Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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